• Being true to ourselves and each other
- Work, ‘busy-ness’, and always doing something, can be a convenient distraction from our underlying struggles that we try to ignore and deny because they are messy and an inconvenience to have to deal with. When Covid-19 brought our lives, routines, and careers to a sudden halt, we found ourselves sitting with many feelings (anxiety, confusion, shock, uncertainty, anger) that kept being triggered (by news and conversations about Covid-19) and that we couldn’t as easily distract from. It is as though overnight, Covid-19 created a natural exposure experiment where we had to drop our distraction mechanisms, be honest with ourselves, sit with our uncomfortable feelings, and start to deal with them; an experiment that, as a psychologist, I may have taken months to set up in therapy with a client!
- Furthermore, it was incredible to see that this became a shared experience. Colleagues started to talk to each other about how they were feeling, and family members and friends started having more emotionally intimate conversations with each other. Usually many of us invest a lot of effort and energy in pretending we are OK, hiding signs of weakness, and presenting a façade that says ‘I’ve got it all under control’. The shared tragedy of Covid-19 seems to have given us shared permission to be honest with ourselves and each other about our feelings and to be vulnerable together. To me, this is a true display of courage.
• Adaptability
When Covid-19 forced us into a new reality, a light started to be shone on how well we can problem solve and how resourceful we are. Individuals, organisations, and countries were sharing information, resources, and words of encouragement as we had no choice but to think outside of the box and be more flexible about how we lived our new indoor reality. Quickly we started to adapt.
We may have discovered that there doesn’t have to be one way of living and working. For months now we have had no choice but to work more flexibly. There is an opportunity for leaders to consider setting up safe and trusting work cultures, where employees are empowered to continue getting their job done whilst working flexibly based on their individual needs and preferences. This can enable employees to feel trusted and empowered to take responsible choices where they remain effective in their job as well as prioritise their well-being.
• Interconnectedness
I have been struck by how interconnected we are as a species, something which I have not fully appreciated until now. Everything is connected to everything else and the outcome of something is the input for something else. My health is dependent on my neighbour’s health, who’s health is dependent on their partner’s health, who’s health is dependent on their colleague’s health etc. The economy of some countries is dependent on the tourism industry, which is dependent on the transport industry, which is dependent on the manufacturing industry, which is dependent on natural resources etc. Being so interconnected has highlighted how everyone in the chain is invaluable. We really all need to look out for and take care of one another because if one of us in the chain falls, it could be a domino effect, and the most vulnerable of us would suffer the most.
• Seeing each other as a whole
Covid-19 has given us a chance to see that the people we interact with are much more than the singular roles we may experience them in on a daily basis. Working from home has blurred the boundaries and broken down barriers somewhat, as we have experienced each other in our homes. We may have had opportunities to discover the colour of each other’s bath robes, to see our boss being a mother as she deals with her child popping up on a Zoom meeting, to meet the loyal pets that we have heard so much about. There is something rich and humbling about experiencing each other in this multi-dimensional way and it is a lovely reminder of how we are all human beings living through messy lives in the best way we can.
• What truly matters?
When Covid-19 brought London to a halt, I was struck by the silence in the City and I must tell you that I found it beautiful! At that moment I realised how much I had been craving it. On a daily basis we can experience so much noise without realising, both externally (rumbling of car engines, building work, advertisements) and internally (the relentless chatter in our minds: I’m not good enough, I’m a phoney, I don’t belong, I am stupid, I’m bad, I’m not important).
Covid-19 may have unintentionally offered us a ‘Refresh and Restart’ button to help us think about what really matters, what sounds we want to pay attention to, and how we can take action to reduce unnecessary noise in our lives. This is particularly relevant as countries lift their lockdown restrictions and before we automatically rush back into the life we had.
We may discover that:
• We want to spend more time in nature | protect family mealtimes | invest in a hobby | spend quality time with our children | leave a job that no longer suits us | take better care of ourselves | be more honest with ourselves | hug trees | express gratitude | detox more often from social media, etc, etc.
We may discover that:
• We have been investing a lot of time and energy in chasing a better version of ourselves and of our lives. We may discover that what truly matters is already here now. The goodness in us and what we need in our life has been here all along. We just needed to see it and to listen.
Now wouldn’t these be incredible discoveries?